Augustus

Dear world,

I am still working on walking my middle path, and making
it through the middles of experience. As you might know,
I've never been very good at middles; my preferred times
are beginnings and endings. And as of my birthday, I have
kept my commitment to staying in San Francisco for over a
year. :) Maybe more exciting is that I've stayed with school
for two sequential semesters and am planning my third.

[My classes for the fall: Asian Humanities (historical), Islam,
Beginning Mandarin and English (and possibly a class on the United
Nations.) ]

I am also taking lower doses of the herbs that are helping
me deal with this middle-time: Corydalis, Anemone, Bleeding-heart,
Elephant tree, Vitex, Yarrow, Passionflower and Mugwort.
I think they have been very good for my mental health, and
for that I am thankful (very much!)

So here we are, at the middle of the year, and I am noticing that
when one eliminates one's own contribution of change, one can
then experience the change of the world around oneself. I am
finding it a bit scary: that change which is not self-initiated. But
there is also a lot of security and comfort in my own stillness.
There are benefits: advancement in my workplace is one of these.
Integration into my neighborhood community is another, although
it is scary to allow people to know who I am.

I am still very often anti-social, and I think it is ok. I think the
issue is one of semantics: sometimes I prefer the company of the
ocean and sand and dunegrass and ravens to other human beings.
I am becoming more comfortable with this in myself and I am
beginning to date someone who seems to be comfortable with it,
too.

So, world, I hope you are doing well out there. I love you very much
and am glad to be here, even when it is scary.
Max